A Beginner’s Guide to Finding a Submissive: The Dos and Don’ts
From exploring the world of BDSM to fulfilling your dominant desires, finding a compatible submissive can be an exciting and challenging journey. However, navigating this dynamic requires careful consideration and understanding of both parties’ needs.
In this guide, we will discuss the dos and don’ts of finding a suitable submissive, including communication, boundaries, and building trust. Keep reading to learn how to start your search for the perfect partner.

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Ashley Madison: The Controversial Choice
Since its launch in 2001, Ashley Madison has been notorious for facilitating extramarital affairs. But in recent years, the platform has also attracted members interested in alternative sexual lifestyles. It boasts over 60 million members worldwide and is often referred to as the most famous name in infidelity. So why would someone looking for a submissive choose this app? Here are some pros and cons to consider:
Pros:
- Option to join as an individual or couple.
- Detailed profiles give insight into specific kinks and preferences.
- Large user base means more potential matches.
- Privacy features allow users to hide their profile from non-matches.
Cons:
- Premium membership required for full access to features.
- Controversial reputation may turn off some potential partners.
When creating your profile on Ashley Madison, be honest about your desires and boundaries. This app is not solely focused on BDSM relationships, so it’s essential to communicate your intent clearly. Before diving into the realm of dating websites for virgins, it’s important to consider what features and options are available on these specialized dating apps. Use the search filters to narrow down your results to those interested in BDSM, and be prepared for some rejection as not all members are open to this lifestyle.
Friends With Benefits: The Casual Option
Friends With Benefits (FWB) is a dating app geared towards casual relationships without the commitment of a traditional romantic partnership. While this may not seem like an ideal platform for finding a submissive, there are advantages to consider:
Pros:
- Users can specify their preferred relationship dynamic (e.g. Dominant/submissive).
- Easy-to-use interface and quick registration process.
- No pressure to commit or label the relationship.
- Plenty of options for finding local matches.
Cons:
- The emphasis on casual hookups may attract individuals not serious about BDSM.
- Limited search filters make it difficult to find specific kinks or preferences.
If you’re using FWB with the intention of finding a submissive partner, make sure to have open communication about boundaries and expectations early on. This app is more focused on physical connections rather than emotional ones, so it’s crucial to clarify your needs and desires from the start.
KikFriender: The Niche Choice
KikFriender is an app designed specifically for Kik messenger users looking for friends or potential dates. It offers various categories, including BDSM and Fetishes, making it easier for those seeking submissives to connect with compatible partners. Here’s what you need to know:
Pros:
- Dedicated categories for BDSM and fetishes simplify the search process.
- Option to filter results by region, gender, and age.
- No fees or premium membership required for full access to features.
- No personal information needed—users only need a Kik username to join.
Cons:
- Small user base compared to other apps on this list.
- Lack of detailed profiles makes it challenging to get a sense of compatibility before messaging someone. After mastering the art of sexting, spice up your conversations with creative and seductive Things To Text When Sexting to keep your male partner craving for more.
If you’re new to the world of BDSM, joining groups within the BDSM category on KikFriender can be an excellent way to learn from experienced members and connect with potential submissives. It’s crucial to verify the authenticity of users before meeting in person as there have been instances of fake profiles on this app.
Confide: The Discreet Choice
Confide is a messaging app that focuses on privacy and security. Messages are encrypted end-to-end, and they disappear after being read, making it perfect for those who value anonymity in their search for a submissive partner. However, there are some things to consider:
Pros:
- No personal information needed—users only need an email address or phone number to join.
- User-friendly interface and easy registration process.
- High level of security and privacy with end-to-end encryption and disappearing messages.
Cons:
- Limited search filters make it difficult to narrow down results based on specific desires or interests.
- The primary focus is communication rather than matchmaking, so finding potential partners may take more effort.
When using Confide, be aware that not all users will be open about their desire for BDSM relationships. Take your time getting to know someone before sharing personal information or arranging a meeting. Use the disappearing messages feature wisely, and always communicate your boundaries and expectations clearly.
Pros and Cons of Using Dating Apps for Finding a Submissive
Pros:
- Broadens the pool of potential matches, especially for those living in less populated areas.
- Anonymity and privacy options provide a sense of safety and discretion.
- Convenient way to connect with like-minded individuals.
- Different apps cater to specific needs, making it easier to find compatible partners. To fully maximize your dating potential, explore the top-rated dating apps for men recommended by A1 Asian.
Cons:
- Safety risks when meeting someone from the internet—always take precautions and meet in public places.
- Lack of face-to-face interaction can make it challenging to gauge compatibility.
While dating apps have made it more accessible to connect with potential submissive partners, they should not be relied upon as the sole method of finding a BDSM relationship. It’s essential to use these apps wisely, communicate openly and honestly, and always prioritize personal safety. With patience and perseverance, you may just find your perfect match in the digital world.

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What Qualities Should I Look for in a Potential Submissive Partner?
When looking for a potential submissive partner, it is important to seek someone who values communication and consent, as well as displays a desire to please their dominant. They should also have an understanding of the dynamics and responsibilities within a D/s relationship.
Are There Any Specific Online Communities Or Events Where I Can Meet Submissives?
Yes, there are several online communities and events specifically catered towards those interested in the BDSM lifestyle and finding submissives. Some popular ones include Fetlife, Collarspace, and SubmissiveGuide.com. Attending local BDSM events or munches (casual gatherings for those involved or interested in BDSM) can also be a great way to meet potential submissives in person. It is important to always prioritize safety and consent when seeking out a submissive partner in these spaces.